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We cannot do anything with these people unless something dramatic happens, but this cannot happen because they are blocked from grace. That is the GRACE which realises that one does not have all the answers. The grace which discerns that one does not even have all the language; the grace which says that one can only know what one knows and little else. The grace which simply realises that it does not know everything and embraces the reality that there are things they should not speculate on because they are not entitled to; because they do not possess the capacity to discern some thing; that something are beyond them; that some things are not an extension of them; that something are not a part of their narrative; that something they have NO JUSTIFICATION or ENTITLEMENT to comment on, tat on many things, they cannot have their own way or a world build around them; that there are many things they are just not entitled to, with PEOPLE being the primary one. How do we explain this to the supremacists? How do we explain that we write as it is our spark; because it is not us; but because it is something coming through us too great to be verbalized, articulated, comprehended, measured, and weighed or any other apparent means of being understood? That which is going on around us is painful because it is the reality and it is the vision of a future of which we cannot even conceive. How do we explain that are not mere artists but we are essayist searching for our place in the world. That everyday we are in tears and crying without there being tears in our eyes. How do we explain a pain we have no words for but we can only feel. how can we explain that we so desperately want better for them; to see them return to their better state how can we explain that we really do want them to see the vision which is far beyond ourselves and that our rage, our agony, our resentment is all justified, and forces that should exist and be there.

How do we explain to these people that they are not the penultimate, the final, the answer? It is very difficult and after so many years, like Bruce Wayne’s attempts to save Gotham, we re not sure it should be, or even can be done. We do not have the answers and that is our power, even if it is not ours strenght. We are in pain and that is our desperation. Here I am sitting before a keypad. I have so much ambition and yet, it is suffocated by a paralysing discontent. I am paralysed because people not places, not aliens, not magical forces, not institutional racism, not policies and practices but people, are denying me. People we can walk around the corner and see. It is no system. It is people. I see them… I speak to them, and I can even touch them. They are denying me and not granting me access to the resources which would enable me to significantly and substantially improve my quality of life. These people are criminals who have long subverted reality but now refuse to relinquish their control over that world. We are so desperately defeated but we spend out lives trying to recapture our RESOURCES which these thieves have stolen and now control; We cannot be complete without our resources because like our past, they are a part of ourselves, and yet, rather than focus on regaining our resources, we deal with ersatz, we deal with imitation, we deal with duplicity and we walk without honour. The only thing which will see that we are whole gain, that we are psychologically restored is doing our mission, if fulfilling our potential which can only be done by pursuing our purpose and dealing with the real, and yet, this entails sacrifice. You may not have those material trappings and you may be impoverished. You may not have fame, and be important, and have status, and have all the attention. You may never get these things, and yet, the priority is that we have to fight because, against us, these other people are at war, and every day that goes by and they refuse to give back what is ours, that which we need to simply be functional, the war shall always be on.

Likewise, there is a need to adopt a militaristic stance to counter these criminals, but this will never happen unless we are SET APART, SET APART, SET Apart from their amusement, sexuality, entertainment and ideas. We cannot sleep with madness and then fight at the same time, and yet, wanting to escape all this pain, misery and drudgery, that is exactly hat we do, or if not, we desire to do that. It is our wish to just get away, even if we know we can never just disappear. We hope that by being with them and that by both of us being silent, this problem, the only problem, will disappear but it will not. Eve if people don’t speak about it, it will always be there, and as we have just said, and as must be the precedent, so long as these people are determined to sit on the resources that keep us from ebbing complete, so long as they deny us the avenues to being fulfilled and walking in greatness and truth, with dignity and justice, we shall be defeated, we shall remain subjugated, and lose the war, if not the race, we will continue to be oppressed. They are in charge. They are in charge. They are in charge. we don’t care if they say they are communist, scientific socialists, internationalists, human beings, anti-white protesters, individuals, race-traitors or any other rhetorical garbage, the fact is, in their hands, our resources remain. The fact is that until we are given, or TAKE that which is ours, we shall always be naked, vulnerable and shamed. We will never have protection, we will never be complete; we will never be whole. We shall always be psychologically denigrated, and with that, nihilistic with shame; seeking pleasure to compensate for pain and that is what I am. I am not black. I am not, a human being, an individual, a person not seeing colour, or seeing that people only invented race. I shall continue to be impacted upon by people that denigrate me because of what they say is my race I shall continue to have no relief, no departments, companies or agencies to go to when I want to complain. I shall continue to be without basic needs, and as Elaine Brown reminds us, perhaps feeding off Sartre, Hell is a place where no one gets there needs met, and to me, that is real. I am in hell because I do not get what I need to live, and without these things, just as a child in the cold without their blanket, I am in pain. There is no madness in operation here apart from that if the oppressor and anything that is not giving this the focus, HAS FALLEN FROM GRACE.

About omalone1

I live I die I write
This entry was posted in Sick of being black and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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