According to DMX (“They Don’t Know”), people “dont’ know who we are…” but according to Tariq Elite, this thinking is mistaken. Assuming that DMX was referring to the Team, by contrast, Tariq asserts “they know”, and sadly, I agree with him. These are the people who control the learning of blacks, perhaps worldwide. These are people that trained us from birth; people we have no protection from; people we are at the mercy of; people who influence our lives with indifference; people we are hostage to; people we are dependent on as psychological prisoners. These are the people that reward, qualify and school us, and so the question I ask is what could any black person possibly teach a white person? In my opinion, I imagine that this jibberish about whites being “ignorant” was something that the Team invented for their amusement, and typically trained; the confused blacks regurgitate this fable, imagining that they are informing whites of anything. These are blacks who might try to “educate” their “educators” about the contents of books written by these very same “educators.” These are the blacks who imagine that whites are ignorant, without thinking about how much damage the Team could do if, assuming they were ignorant, they ceased to be ignorant and became hyper-conscious of their enormous power, and the fact that blacks are so helplessly vulnerable to their rule. These are blacks who learn of themselves from the words of, and through the eyes of whites, and so, the question remains, exactly who are they educating? I concluded, long ago, no-one. In fact, I went further to advance that very few blacks even have something consructive to say, offer or exchange, and so, with that in mind, I decided to limit my contact with them; I made myself less available.
Away from their nonsense, I was left to fend for myself, and tackle the pressing questions which related to my existence, and my environment. In this entry, I want to explore some of these questions I had growing up, and the choices I made in trying to move from confusion to consciousness, and uncertainty to decision. This is simply a list of questions I had as a young black growing up in Britain, feeling something was wrong with my world, and trying to Understand the context I found myself landed in. Of course, this begins with a concept of “race”, and further, the idea that one is “not white.” Upon “realising” (learning) this, these are some of the thoughts one might wrestle with:
Q. if white people enslaved us, why do we live with them?
Are white people evil? how much should we blame them?
are all white people evil? can we trust any of them? do they know?
If we made progress, why are we still impoverished?
Why do we still follow Willie Lynch? is it our fault?
How are we to relate to whites? Why didn’t we fight back? How did they beat us? Does the racist agenda still exist?
why do we have no money? are any groups with us?
What colour am I? should one be a Christian? should we separate? is this racist?
prior to invasion and enslavement, did we accomplish anything in Africa
how comes the very people who enslaved us freed us?
how can be achieve financial autonomy and self-determination?
what is the answer (“solution”) to black pathology (“problem”?)
Watching the young grow is a delight but I would feel like a “traitor” if I didn’t do something to warn them about the potential struggles they would face. I would like to say something to them, but my expression of love would be “colonised” as an expression of “hate.” Anyone who tries to protect the young is seen as violating their freedom, and restricting their choice. I have so much to say, but do not even have a language to share this code with them, and so I am left to speak to only those closest to me. Others will not pay attention as it makes little sense to try and lead people from the back. Only the people envied are the ones listened to as all others seem invisible. At the same time, this isn’t enough. There can be no excuses for not preparing them to battle against the injustices which they will be expected to tolerate, but I cannot afford to be silent. Before the answers can even be given, these questions need to be raised. These are young and impressionable people who will be susceptible to all influences, and if not protected, they too will come to desire to be Nickleback’s “rockstars.” They too will join KGR on that “road to riches” as they find themselves, Big L’s “street Struck”, giving up their mad dreams, and instead, catching a bullet and jail time. There is so much for them, and yet, how can I be responsible for directing them, and playing my part. If I do not do this, I am no different from The Team that will ultimately, in their world, come to implement violence and represent oppression. Ultimately however, I really feel the need to intervene lest they end up like myself, and dishonour themselves.