came across this piece quite a while back, but it remained in my memory for a good reason. Although I imagine the author is neutral (“white”), when you consider ghetto patterns (i.e. the “Code of the Street” as highlighted by the likes of Elijah Anderson, Hare & HAre, et al), we might view this post as a significant contribution to our understanding of the dynamics of sexual politics that so dominate our patterns of relating to each other. (catch-breath)
that SAID, enjoy.
Pretty much anywhere you go, men are conceived as the “horndog gender.” Men are viewed as the ones who will always want sex more, who are always quicker to sexualize a relationship, to make things about sex. And this does create a bit of a problem, especially in heterosexual contexts. For men, what should be a simple interaction involving something women generally also want (sex) turns into a complex game of wooing and seduction – in fact, for this precise reason, “seduction communities” that pretty much cater exclusively to heterosexual men’s desires to be more confident and convincing around women, have sprung up everywhere. Men have to learn to walk an often-thin line around sex – or else risk being “friend-zoned,” marginalized, or even shunned.
Then there’s the other side of this: women very often face a reality in which sex is an annoyingly central marker of their…
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