It is a new year (I’m told)
I’ve been going bed at 7am and waking up at 1pm, all week. I mean it; since December 23, I’ve been stuck, and yet, I’ve been constructive. I have a motive.
In this entry, I want to ask a couple questions about motive.
Kwanza. Yesterday, I arrived at 7:45, and after waiting in the queue for twenty minutes, trying to get something to eat, I made my way to the hall to hear some potentially constructive information. Instead, despitee the night closing at 10pm, I didn’t learn anything in any of those two hours. I had a mission, but it failed, and yet, I was there for 1 reason really, to say goodbye.
I have a motive. It will not be fulfilled there.
To start off the year, I had engaged in some good loving, but after that (10:30pm), I started wandering, looking for something to do (with thisself.) I wandered for almost two hours, only to be disappointed. Last year, I spent new year banging a cell wall, and kicking a bolted door. It wasn’t much different this time. But what was I searching for?
I did not know. I had no motive.
We are the youth. The dead future of yesterday. So much of our lives are spent looking for things in the world and yet, as truth will show, we are the people to bring it through and into the world. I guess it comes down to us, and this is why, I have decided to devote this year to motive.
I’m tired of wandering.